Monday
Nov082010
Cloth Diapering: A New Daddy's Perspective
Monday, November 8, 2010 at 11:08AMAs you can imagine, my husband responded to my 30-day cloth diaper challenge with trepidation. Maybe I should have consulted him before committing to it? Oops!
He does a weekly fatherhood podcast called Daddy On Board. Cloth diapering was top of mind in this week's show, which I have embedded below. Go easy on him, CD community. He's nervous but he means well.
Reader Comments (24)
I appreciate your husband's willingness to be open minded about this. I really hope that you two enjoy your experience and come out with an understanding that while it may be different than what you expected and heard that it isn't a bad option to go with. All we want is to be understood for our reasons on why we chose to cloth diaper.
That being said, I don't think it's very fair to be called the Diaper Nazi's. Some women can be very nasty about their opinions but we should not let them represent the community. I think most parents who do cloth diaper just want others to be better educated about it. It's not because we need to convince every person in the world that cloth diapering is better, it's that we don't want the entire world to be convinced that cloth diapering is harder.
I myself actually started with disposables and I made the switch and am still in the process of making the switch (I'm building up my stash) and I don't spend any more time changing my baby's diaper as I did before. I don't spend any more time washing my diapers as I would the laundry.
Your husband seemed very open to the idea and I appreciate that but his partner on the other hand seemed a little insulting. I don't want to be mean to him because he hasn't tried cloth diapering before so he could just be naive on the subject but I'd like to encourage him to be open minded too. I mean you can't knock something unless you try it, as the saying goes. We just want everyone to be fair because no parenting style is the same so to laugh at the mention of cloth diapering is just looking down at how we parent our children.
I really hope that you like your cloth diapers and I am very pleased that you are giving it a try and I feel like this is the positive publicity that we need. It's nice because we get a better perspective on cloth diapering and maybe more women can see it as a viable option.
It isn't so much that people care what YOU put on YOUR babies bum, but that they care about good reporting. The 'article' on cloth vs disposable diapers was uninformed and did not give a good view of what sorts of options are really out there for cloth diapering. If you aim to present a subject, your presentation should be thorough.
Cloth diapering is actually very simple. You can go two ways- cheap or easy. Cheap is similar to the old fashioned prefolds with waterproof covers, though the technology has improved over the last few generations. The Easy solution to cloth diapering includes diapers that are JUST LIKE disposables, but made of cloth. Nothing to be afraid of here and no reason to get so inflamed about it (from either side)!
I've never seen Daddy on Board before. I found it very entertaining, and it's interesting to see the point of view from a fathers perspective. I hope your husband loves cloth diapers as much as mine does. They really aren't the way he thinks they are. Many cloth diapers have a stay dry inner so the baby doesn't feel wet, which seemed to be a pretty big concern. I totally understand that, I don't want my DD to feel wet either. I'm glad he seems willing to try them out with you. :) I can't wait to see which diapers you decide to use. I know it can be very overwhelming.
I was going to say, maybe they should go easy on the "cloth diapering community." We're not all a-holes, and being called a Nazi is unpleasant. Some of us were constructive in our criticism of the original piece, which was misinformed at the very least.
I'm excited that you are trying cloth diapering. I hope you both go into it with an open mind and a willingness to really figure it out. It can be a lot of information to absorb. I was obsessed for months during my first pregnancy researching the topic, and I think it took that long to get a handle on it!
Wow, way to be jerks to parents who cloth diaper (more so the incredibly unfunny guy, not your husband).
I agree with the previous poster who said, "It isn't so much that people care what YOU put on YOUR babies bum, but that they care about good reporting. The 'article' on cloth vs disposable diapers was uninformed and did not give a good view of what sorts of options are really out there for cloth diapering. If you aim to present a subject, your presentation should be thorough."
Here's the thing. I don't care whether you, or anyone else for that matter, uses cloth diapers. But people watch these shows, articles and segments and believe them. When the two people who are in the segment say disposable is easier, well, that must be true. Right? The thing is, it sounds easier but one is not really any harder than the other. I think it would have been more appropriate to have a person who has experienced cloth diapering to help with the segment.
That being said, I hope you and you're DH have a good run with cloth diapering. There is all kinds of information out there! I turned to it when disposables didn't work for my son. He would pee right through them. I tried ALL the kinds. I was slow getting start with cloth diapers but I a serious budget I had to follow. Now I wish I had done it earlier. Good Luck!
I'm glad your husband seems to be open to the idea...it's unfortunate that his partner on the other hand comes off as very ignorant and closed-minded--funny...since he is referring to cloth diapering families--as being closed-minded "nazis' about their way being the only way! I don't think this is true....! Don't judge us all or place us all in the same category, for things that others have said.
Is this program intended to be educational...and unbiased? I hope he wasn't trying to get them more viewers because if anything, I'm sure it scared many of us away. I think the whole problem at hand the whole time--was that cloth diapering families, wanted uneducated unbiased viewers watching the CBS segment (and this daddy segment) to be able to watch it..and get good information about cloth diapering...to know that it can be just as easy as disposables, while also being more eco-conscious and with the possibility of saving your family money.
I think parents need to just make educated decisions based on what is right for their own family. I dont' think that dad educated himself before making a decision. He literally laughs at the idea of cloth diapering...I don't laugh at those that use disposables...so why do I get laughed at for cloth diapering? He acts like it is funny that people make that decision...why? Because it saves money? Because there are no harmful chemicals on my babys bottoms? Because I found a way to do what is best for my baby---AND I do is EASILY with cloth diapers, while saving money, and being eco friendly? I hardly find that laughable. I'm not saying what I do is best, but it is best for my family. He chose was is best for his...but he hardly seems like he considered doing anything BUT disposables.
And...there is a reason why most hospitals DONT use 'pre moistened wipes'. Look into it. Those wipes are filled with chemicals and alcohol and all kinds of things....THAT is why a big organization, such as a hospital, would use water alone with 'paper towels' (I doubt they were paper towels). It isn't because they're crazy...it is because newborns...and babys in general, have sensitive skin. I used those 'paper towels'...and still got her clean. Maybe you weren't wiping properly if they weren't getting your baby clean :/
Hi,
I wish you the best experience ever with cloth diapering. It takes a few weeks to get used to it but it does become super easy and really wonderful! Your son's heiny will thank you! Cloth diapering is great. Some of it depends on getting the right fit and finding the right match for your family!
We have a tall skinny waisted and skinny legged almost 13month old girl! We use mostly Happy Heiny with velcro closures during the day with 2 microfiber inserts and sometimes a small happy heiny oval hemp insert in between with a flusable insert on top! We never have leaks and we flush the poop! (as everyone should in all diapers, disposable or cloth!)
At night we use Fuzzi Bunz with 2 hemp inserts and a microfiber insert on top!
For long trips or outings we use Piddle poodles cadillac pocket diaper which is a waterproof fitted and user their insert with an extra happy heing oval insert in between! Great diaper and mama who makes them! Super trim diaper!
I hope this info helps!
Please email me if you have any questions!!
Wishing you the best!!! Remember cloth diapering parents have to play around for the best fit and what works for them but they put a lot of effort into helping their children, our planet and everything in between!!!
:) And this is coming from a momma who has used both kinds of dipes!
:) Kitty
I think Mike's humor may not translate. He isn't trying to be disparaging, just entertaining. I hope it didn't really offend but thank you all for the encouragement. I'm about to post about cloth diapering, day 1!
As a passionate (but personable) cloth diapering mom that happens to be Jewish, I am particularly offended by the term "Diaper Nazi." This is 2010. Can we find a better word, please? Can we find a word that accurately describes a cloth diapering parent who is passionate about what they believe in that is NOT the same word that represents a group of people who brutally tortured, humiliated, abused, raped, brutalized, murdered, and attempted to annihilate an entire group of people, but was stopped as the tally hit around 6 million?! Ignorance is NOT an excuse. I don't care what "he meant" by it. Words have power and the more those words are said (some of the big ones that come to mind are Nazi (when used to inaccurately describe someone), nigger (an all around derogatory term), retard (which should NEVER be used to describe a person with a disability, someone being silly, or someone with Down syndrome), bitch (when used to NOT describe a female dog), and gay (when used to describe something not being quite right, offensive, or less than what one expects.) we become immune to the power of those words and the feelings that they stir up in the hearts of others. I, for one, never want to be immune to feeling the power of those words and I am sickened when people use them so carelessly.
Stepping off my soapbox now.
He may be surprised that there's less mess - for me at least, we had a dramatic drop in poop blowouts.
Look, no one likes getting dogpiled on the internet, and I think your husband was pretty reasonable after the firestorm. Anyone taking "nazi" very seriously in this context is clearly unfamiliar with Godwin's law. It's eye-rolling-ly annoying but an inevitable result of the internet.
I think Clayton had it right - those of us who cloth diaper and like it definitely feel a lot of social pressure from the kind of folks (like his friend there) who, without any experience of cloth diapering are extremely dismissive. (Yes, I know, he was trying to be funny.) That sort of pressure, applied over time, tends to make people reactive. It's especially true when things are unidirectional; almost every cloth diapering family has at least tried disposables, but almost no disposable families have tried cloth.
I hope you end up being as happy with your cloth diapers as we are. If you don't mind talking to strangers on the internet, feel free to email me if you want help, or just to vent. I promise not to bite your head off, or judge you if cloth diapering ends up not being right for you.
Wow. I could not even watch all of that. Got to the underwear comments but no more. I can see how someone would be nervous about cloth diapers but the rude comments aren't necessary.
I just started cloth with my 5th child this summer. I used disposables for all 4 of my other children. I wish I had known how easy it was before. I get two extra loads of laundry a week and my son gets to wear super cute diapers. They do not smell and he is not uncomfortable. The diapers do pull away the moisture to the insert but you can't let them sit in it for hours, just like you wouldn't a sposie.
FTR, my husband will not change a cloth diaper. He says he doesn't know how, ha. I think its an excuse not to change a diaper but it was my choice to do this and he has been very supportive with it. I really like cloth diapering my baby. I hope you find the same result but if you don't, I won't think badly of you. I just hope you & your husband and his friends know not to make rude comments or bad mouth others. There is nothing wrong with this choice We all have a right to our opinions and its sad when others can respect you. because of a choice you make
What a great idea! We started slow and tried a ton of diapers.... Then we got a tip from my husbands cousin. Use bum genious diapers. They are a bit pricy and they need to be stuffed but they are the best we have tried! Our sons skin feels quite dry even when he is wet! If you want to avoid the poop use a flushable linner! The softest I have found i think is bumkin or something like that. The best soap I found is rockin green. Also big lesson we just learned - don't use desitin with cloth! We uses it on the bad diapers and washed them with our BG diapers and they all smelled like fish! Nasty!!! (wish someone told us that before we dis it) Hope these tips are helpful! Oh and my dad is our babysitter & they are easy enough for even him to use. We have about 22 of them and I work part time. We gave it a trial run for a week and found that it was good for our sons skin. He generally has less diaper rash and we use little product on his skin.
Like Tammy, I too couldn't get through the whole thing. I'm sorry, but that was painful:( The guy on the right...Mike is it? That guy just rubs me the wrong way. Anyways, that's beside the point. There are several things I could rant about, but I don't feel like typing out an essay right now. And since you asked us to take it easy on your man, I will. So I've chosen just one thing I want to clear up.
The potty training business. Clearly these fellas have misunderstood why potty training can sometimes occur sooner with cloth diapers. It's not that the child is feeling uncomfortable. It's just that they are aware that they are wet. This is something a cloth diapered baby is used to. For some babies (who have been cloth diapered from birth) they have never had it any other way. So it's unlikely that they're uncomfortable since it's just the norm. Feeling this wetness though helps them make the connection between the sensation of peeing and then the result, which is obviously wetness. My son is 22 months and he is already potty trained. I believe most children these days (in North America) are closer to 3 when they're out of diapers.
I also just want to briefly touch on something else Mike said while they were talking about potty training. Mike said something about cloth diapers being stinky. Actually, ask any cloth diaper user if they think cloth diapers stink and they'll probably tell you that they absolutely do not. Sure poop stinks, but baby poops and you change him. Stink gone! Sposies on the other hand absolutely do stink! I know I'm not the only cloth diapering mama who thinks sposies REAK! I can smell a wet sposie on a kid from about 3 feet away. The smell simply gags me. It's easy not to notice it when you're used to it. But if/once you get right into using cloth diapers, you too may notice the unpleasant odour that disposable diapers give off.
I loved the show. Mu husband was not happy when we started cloth diapering our now 18mth old three months ago, now he thinks he is the expert. So it worked out. Also if you don't already have an Ergo carrier, my husband loves packing our son around in it, another thing he said he wouldn't do.
Wow did he miss our point. We don't particularly care what your baby wears on his butt (cloth is better, but with most environmental or childcare issues, your choice is your own and it's not our business). We care what you report. If this had been a private conversation between two disposable diapering parents, it would've been no issue. But a "balanced report" on a national news station between two disposable diapering parents ignoring 90% of the available cloth diapers on the market was incredibly biased and by definition NOT balanced. All we asked is that if you're going to claim to present both sides, have someone who knows the other side in on the debate.
Wow..I won't say anything about the episode itself....
I think the point is not that I care what you put on your child...because I don't...but that the RIGHT information is being put out there. It seems that every time a news organization covers diapering, the information is grossly incomplete or misrepresented on the cloth side of things.
A) the moisture doesn't just sit against your baby's skin (he'd be super red and rash-y if it did). There are stay dry layers in the diapers (specifically so that your baby's butt feels dry)
B) what annoys the cloth diapering community is the perception that it is just our mother's or grandmother's cloth diapers that can be used...and that those are SO difficult. Just like in all other parts of life, amazing advances have been made in cloth diapering.
C) The big draw for me was the $$ savings! I'm a grad student and can't imagine spending thousands of dollars on something I was just going to throw away! The added benefit that I'm not throwing away something that sits in the landfill for centuries is nice AND the fact that scary chemicals aren't being absorbed into my baby's skin is great too, but that wasn't the draw for me.
It's the ignorance that tends to pieve the CD-ing community...we all do what is best for our kids to the best of our knowledge and ability...
We cloth diaper and it took us some time to get used to it...but we love it now! I'm sorry people are so stupid and got all angry at you...don't let that represent us all! We're a cloth family, but I found this to be hillarious..oh man...I was cracking up. I have a feeling that even if you guys don't choose to stick with cloth, you'll at least see why other people prefer it! Good luck :)
I'm not very sure what to make of the guy on the right, not my sense of humor most likely.
Just wanted to encourage simply to get in-hand a few of the easy as disposables diapers. The one that comes to mind is BumGenius One-Size 4.0 diapers.
The gal who keeps my kiddos once a week was very apprehensive about the mess and smell of cloth but agreed to use our cloth while my daughter was with her. She told me after 3 visits that cloth is WAY different than she expected and SUPER EASY. I was a little shocked that she changed her mind so quickly since the kids are only there 4hrs once a week.
Clayton, thanks for being so open-minded and not bad-mouthing a choice different than your own expectations of diapering. Most of us that use cloth had NO idea what it was about until someone else mentioned it to us at some point. Hope this month is tolerable at minimum for you both.
There are common pitfalls that many parents find in the first couple or weeks or months. I'd toss out PinStripes and PolkaDots Diapering Basics page if you are having any nagging issues especially if you decide to keep up with cloth even part time after the 30 days.
I just wanted to say something in response to Melissa's point 'A'. Not all cloth diapers have stay dry layers. Often these stay dry layers are often fleece. Personally, I liked to stick to natural fibres. We used cottons prefolds with wool covers. A wet diaper did feel wet against my son's skin, I'm sure. But this was never a problem. His bum never got red a rashy (sometimes a little pink after an entire night in a diaper). My son also was never in a wet diaper for long. Sometimes I changed him right when he peed. During the day, the longest he was in a diaper was 2-3 hours. I think a lot of sposie users leave their babies in wet diapers way longer than they should.
Kuddos to your husband for talking about the topic. Hey, he's not crazy about the idea, but he is open-minded, and that's a good quality to have. My husband did not love the idea when we made the switch to cloth (my son was a year old when we switched). He did love the idea that we would save money, but he's never been one to be concerned with the environment- so quite honestly, it took some convincing. I'd venture a bet that he still doesn't love changing the poopoo diapers, but he doesn't love changing poopoo disposables either, so that's not saying much!
I'm sorry you got so much negativity on your blog and facebook. I think some of it was mother's passion behind their own choices coming through, and some of it was just people being mean. There's always a few in the bunch. I wasn't, and am not, ever personally offended by what someone else chooses to put on their kids butt. It's their butt, why would I care? The only thing I care about is accurate reporting- which I just didn't think happened in your piece. Was it intentional? No, at this point I do not think so at all. I think there just wasn't enough research done. At the end of the day, once you've tried it and can then compare the two accurately- a better piece could be done. Even if your decision is still the same.
Good luck to you- I hope the month isn't too difficult on you!
I hope that you will support your wife in trying the cloth diapers. I hear a lot of guys who are nervous about it, but it really isn't that bad. My husband, who is in the Army, and is a helicopter pilot, loves them! He changes the baby, rinses the diapers, and even washes them. And not everybody is mean about cloth diapering....I was even offended by some of the people that reacted. Please don't hold it against the community at large. If you need some manly cloth diapering advice, feel free to contact me hubby. He can give you some unbiased advice. Good luck to you!
Kuddos to your husband for talking about it!
Actually, My husband wasn't thrilled when I said I wanted to give them a try. We have 3 kids, and the first two were in disposables, why change what works, right? He said basically the same thing, that we'll try it, but if it is too messy, too difficult, too stinky - we're done. And I agreed.
When baby R was born, I actually got nervous to try it. I put it off for several weeks. One day I just said to myself: this is stupid, We have the diapers, just try it!! So I did right then, and haven't looked back! He was probably 2 weeks old, and he's 3 months now. Even hubby doesn't think it is bad. I recently got rid off all the disposables that I had stocked up on when I was pregnant. no turning back now!!
Anyway - other than the couple of eyerolls when they were talking about cloth, I really enjoyed the piece. I was actually looking for a comment link so I could say as much directly to them.
Good luck again on this experiment!! :)
Oi, there's that term "Nazi" again. How inappropriate. I, for one, as a CD'ing mom (not a member of the "cloth diaper brigade") do not JUDGE what you choose to put on your baby's bum, but I did take offense to the one-sidedness of Natali's original segment. What we, of the CD'ing community, wanted was for people to be educated on cloth diapers. I hope that you both are open-minded and enthusiastic about learning to CD. Good luck!