Sometimes this fun little gimmick called pregnancy clogs your pipes. Yesterday, in an effort to unclog, I drank an iced dark chocolate mocha. I'm supposed to limit caffeine but since I am not usually a coffee drinker, my doctor said one a day is more than fine. I like to reserve the caffeine for just such an occasion so I indulged in an afternoon treat at about 3 p.m. figuring I'd hit the throne by dinnertime. No such luck.
Obviously I have no tolerance for caffeine. It worked a number on my poor nerves. I was a ball of anxious energy all afternoon. Come dinnertime, I decide I could/should indulge in my weekly glass of wine, which is another pass from my doctor. I figured a bold red would calm the nerves so I nursed a glass of merlot with my steak. And when I say nursed, I mean it! I took two hours to drink that one glass. When you only get one per week, you savor it like the blood of Jesus!
Bedtime rolls around and I am still flying high from the mocha. I try to fall asleep around 10 p.m. but it is futile. I grab my iPad and leave Baby Daddy sound asleep in bed. I play Words With Friends. I fool around on Facebook on Twitter. I read a few chapters of The Girl Who Played With Fire before it starts to freak me out. I feel like a dirty crackhead hot mess.
2:30 a.m. I decide that Tylenol PM is my only hope for some sleep. My doctor said this was a safe alternative to Melatonin, which I used to enjoy before my pregnancy as a natural sleep aid. To no avail. I read more of my freaky book and start listening for cereal rapists on my block.
3 a.m. Still staring into oblivion. Baby Daddy marches out and tells me to come back to bed. I finally fall asleep around 3:30 a.m.
9:30 a.m. I wake up feeling like the world's worst mother. I put my poor baby through so many chemicals in the last 24 hours and I'm feeling guilty. I am allowed a little coffee, a little wine, and a little Tylenol but I don't think it is wise to put my poor little one through all three! And I feel like a jerk for letting it snowball, and all for a little pregnancy backlog. Which makes me feel just like the old lady who swallowed the fly.
I swallowed the coffee to catch the constipation.
I swallowed the wine to catch the coffee.
I swallowed the Tylenol to catch the wine.
I don't know why I swallowed the coffee. Never again!
My little one has been kicking the dickens out of me all day. I think it's still upset. Mommy is sorry! I won't do that again, I swear!
Mommy lesson of the day: Learn to be patient and not take such extreme preventative measures. Don't want to be like Grandma Bruan who gave me ex-lax at the age of 6. Slow and natural is far better than being a sleepless constipated Troll doll!