Giving in to Formula
Wednesday, September 19, 2012 at 5:13PM
I was so proud that I never had to give Dominic formula. Probably too proud, because it came back and bit me in the a**. It’s not that I think formula is bad, it’s just that it felt like a real accomplishment to go 11+ months of strictly breastfeeding (and solids, of course).
I had to give up on the hope of doing the same for Baby Z. Like I said in my last post, he just wasn’t gaining weight. At 6 weeks old, he was only about 8 oz over birth weight (note that he lost almost 1 lb while we were in the hospital, just over the “acceptable” amount). So, last week, I tearily agreed with my pediatrician that it was time to supplement with formula. I just didn’t want my little boy to be hungry.
But I was terrified. Nic weaned himself the moment I introduced whole milk, and my mom has always said that I weaned myself when she introduced formula. I wasn’t ready to let go of nursing, and fortunately, I haven’t had to. The plan was to give Baby Z 0.5-1 oz of formula after each breast milk feeding. He gobbled that up and I end up giving him 2 oz after each feeding. I felt good about this plan because we weren’t replacing breastfeeding with formula, we were just giving him a little extra to eat.
It worked. From Friday to Monday, he gained 8.5 oz! I think that’s got to be a record for baby weight gain! I was so so so relieved, and it felt good that I had made the right decision to supplement.
I do want to make it clear that I haven’t given up on breastfeeding. In fact, I’m trying harder than ever. I’m pumping multiple times a day (to stimulate production and allow me to supplement with my own milk), even if that means pumping at 2:30 am. And I’m making sure each breastfeeding really counts. I realized that I was trying to feed Baby Z “on the go” too much. He can’t eat every meal while I’m walking through Home Depot or sitting in the sandbox. He needs dedicated, concentrated nursing time—just me, him and the boppy on the couch. It’s been hard to make this work with Nic’s school schedule and my need to work and unpack, but I needed to make Baby Z a priority. And I feel horribly guilty that I wasn’t making him my #1 priority from the start.
With all that’s going on in our lives, a toddler, a newborn, a move and no real maternity leave, it’s been hard to balance everything. This weight gain issue has been a reality check for me and has forced me to put things on hold a bit for the sake of my baby. My sweet little man is worth the hundred or so unread emails in my inbox, he’s worth the stacks of boxes in my garage, he’s even worth telling Nic that mommy is busy right now and he can play animals by himself.
So Baby Z, mommy is making a promise to you: I will do whatever it takes to get you what you need, you deserve it.
A smile like this deserves mommy's undivided attention!
Reader Comments (5)
It sounds like you guys are doing great switching between breast and bottle, but I wanted to throw something out there in case you are interested. They make what is called a Supplemental Nursing System (or SNS) that is designed just for this purpose. You want to continue to be stimulated to encourage your body to produce more, but you want to get your kiddo fed. I'm going to do a horrible job describing it, so I will just link to one of the Medela options that are out there, Supplemental Nursing System (SNS).
Oh Nath, this post makes me want to cry. I haven't had to give Ava any formula but I feel like there are things that I do that are comparable to making her fit into our lifestyle and short-changing her the one-on-one time. It is SO much harder to love these Number Twos as much as Number Ones but not be able to give them everything that Number One got. It provides a lot of opportunity for guilt and, like I brought up on last week's podcast, I take every opportunity to feel guilty. But the admonishment I have for you - which I should take to heart myself - is that we gave life to these babies, we love them more than we could ever have prepared for, and we bring them into a family that is constantly adapting. They will keep teaching us lessons - like to slow down - and we will keep learning the lessons, and that is what makes us the best mommies for the job! So good for you for adapting to the learning curve! You're a great mommy and your boobies will catch up soon!
Thank you for this very real post about adding in baby #2. My second is almost 3 now but really there are so many things that have to juggled and balanced when you add that second one in and finding the bonding and dedicated moments are harder. They just are. The amazing part is your capacity to love and fill up with their live grows to (as your ability to clean your house and do laundry dwindles). This was a very real heartfelt post. Thanks.
I'm so glad Z is gaining weight! My little guy was in NICU so, supplementing started right away. I didn't realize at the time I could refuse, they didn't even ask me they just did it. He had a hard time getting back up to his birth weight, almost 9 pounds (he was the biggest baby in the NICU). We had some supply problems and about nine months I gave up pumping (it was just not working for me, three times during my work day and only a total of 2-3oz). I just want to let you know at 2 1/2 he still nurses. I always wanted to nurse him until 1and really didn't think I would make it. When we did I just went with it, I'm letting him call the shots for weaning. I worry sometimes that the breastfeeding advocates give an all or nothing message, it stressed me out so much because, I just knew with every bottle my supply would dwindle. It wasn't the case for me, maybe it is for other people but, it worked out for us and I stressed over something i really couldn't control. I'm so glad you've found you're happy medium!
You're doing such a great job loving this little one! Good mommies feed their babies, regardless of the method of feeding.
With all of your pumping, you may want to try an experiment that I conducted on my second baby (my 3rd is the same age as yours). My second had emergency lung surgery at 6 weeks and was on a feeding tube for nearly a week, so I put myself on a strict 3 hour pumping schedule to maintain supply and provide milk for the feeding tube. But I didn't wake up in the wee hours of the morning to pump because I discovered that if I slept from midnight to 6 am, I made twice as much milk, maybe more, than if I woke up to pump at 3 am. Sleep and rest are so good for your milk supply.