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Entries in Baby #2 (5)


Sprinkle Sprinkle Little Star


Early in this pregnancy, I mused about having a shower for second babies. Wow, there are a lot of opinions about this! One friend was candid enough to say, "You're not supposed to because it means you're greedy."

Well perceptions be damned! I went ahead and had a shower for this baby but we didn't call it a Shower. We called it a Sprinkle... as in the mommy is given a "sprinkling" of gifts that the baby might need.

In my family, we always threw showers for every baby, first or fourth. So naturally I wanted one too but I was also nervous what people might think of me. In hindsight, I could care less. My new baby deserves the same "ooohing" and "aaaahing" that my oldest had. So we Sprinkled!

Some suggested that I not register. Well, that seemed a bit silly and semantical to me too. Why split hairs? If we are doing a gift-giving event, can't I choose a few things that I want for this baby the same way I did for the first? Nathalee has gone the more PC route and created an Amazon Wishlist, which is the same concept. Her new baby needs things. Shouldn't she be able to choose the right ones?

When we sent out invitations, I wondered if our guests would understand the name of the event. They figured it out. Most people brought small items like burp cloths and toys, which are much appreciated, and told me that they understood the concept. 

We had games and prizes and food, much like my first shower. We also had activities for the kids because there were a lot more toddlers present this time around - including all the BabyBetas!

I printed some blank onesies and bought crayons and stickers for the kids to decorate and that was a hit. An even bigger hit were Annie's Cheddar Bunnies. The BabyBetas couldn't get enough of these! My mom called them the star of the party!

My sister and I had found these really cute favors on Pinterest that inspired us to make bags of popcorn that said, "Ready to pop." My sister made homemade kettle corn and we handed them out to guests as they left. 

My stepmother made a punch with rubber ducks floating in it - another Pinterest find! And we ordered Mexican food and a red velvet cake at my request - one of the main reasons I wanted a party in the first place!! After all, what is the fun of being pregnant, if you can't have some cake to celebrate??

So second (or third, fourth, fifth) time mommies, reject the convention that says you can't have a party for subsequent pregnancies. Of course you can! Anyone who finds that offensive is not your friend! You have a new person coming into this world and that new person deserves celebration in the same spirit that your first child was celebrated. So I hereby say: "Let them have cake!"


The Hidden Power Of Siblings

Funny that I came across this video today since I am doing so much research about siblings lately. I thought it was sweet and profound at the same time. 

My husband Clayton interviewed Jeffrey Kluger a few months ago on Fox & Friends. I had already added his book, The Sibling Effect, to my list of books to read before Baby #2 arrives. Just bought it on Kindle! 

One of my favorite parts of this speech addresses how your siblings are the only beings that are there with you for the long run - if all goes according to plan anyway. Our parents leave us too soon in life. Our spouses and children come along too late. What a special way to think about this relationship! 


Baby #2: No Cake For You? 


In this week's MommyBeta Podcast, we discuss whether or not it is vulgar to have a baby shower for your second (or third or fourth...) babies. This is something that I may be a little too opinionated about so allow me to pontificate and feel free to pontificate back in the comments. 

I had never heard that it was uncouth to have a shower for a second baby until I became pregnant with Baby #2. My dad's wife was the one who brought it up, informing me that it was considered rude. Rude??  

I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and they both agreed that this is tradition. They thought that a second shower would reflect poorly on them as if they were trying to get more stuff out of people. My mother-in-law said she would feel uncomfortable throwing my sister-in-law another shower. 


What kind of people would judge my sweet mother-in-law for wanting to throw her only daughter a shower if/when she is pregnant again? They don't have to attend! But would they judge for wanting to celebrate a new child? Are those the kind of people we call friends? 

The first baby shower was certainly not to "get stuff out of people." It was to celebrate our newest addition, wasn't it? The stuff is a bonus. 

Why would anyone begrudge someone the right to celebrate a new baby? Babies are brand new people! They need a few things in this world. Given, second-time-moms don't need swings, swaddles, bottles, etc. But they need a few new things. Must Baby #2 be forever relegated to hand-me-downs from the get-go? And no cake? No games? No festivities AT ALL for Baby #2?? 

One point I especially appreciated in The Girlfriends' Guide To Pregnancy was that every baby should be celebrated equally. Why should Baby #2 receive zero fanfare just because Baby #1 fertilized the egg first? 

In my family, we have showers for every baby that joins our ranks - from 1 to 5. We never expect huge extravagant presents. We just expect that everyone will want to ooh and aah over baby stuff and celebrate motherhood together. What is so vulgar about that?  

I was speaking to a friend of Colombian decent recently about this topic. She seemed to think this was a cultural issue. 

"Hispanics have showers for every baby," she said. "I think not having them is an American thing." 

But Americans register for wedding gifts even when they have been cohabiting and don't need "stuff" like flatware and toasters. And they throw extravagant weddings for Marriage #2. So why does the second child get so short changed? 

My Colombian friend said that she had recently attended a "Sprinkle" for a friend who was pregnant with Baby #2. It is a play on the word "shower." You don't need to be "showered" in gifts but you can ask for a sprinkling of them. Kind of a cute semantical solution if you're worried about being offensive - which in the end, I am not. My mom wants to throw me another shower and I may do a small registry as well. Is that so rude?

I am not one for tradition so it would stand to reason that I break with convention with this no-second-baby-shower rule. But I would like to say on behalf of second-time mommies everywhere that I think the no-second-shower rule is total crap and should be thrown in the diaper genie. We should be able to celebrate the brand new person growing inside of us! And if you find that offensive, you can tell him/her that they don't deserve a party because they are the youngest and it is considered vulgar. Go ahead. Say it to this little face! 



Is There Room In My Heart For Two? 

Today I announced that I am pregnant with Baby #2 on the MommyBeta Podcast. It's true! Baby loading! 

I found out I was pregnant about 6 weeks ago. Next week, I enter the second trimester and hopefully this morning sickness (AKA all-damn-day sickness) will subside soon. 

What surprises me about this pregnancy is not that it is so familiar but rather that the idea of another baby is so foreign, even after 6 weeks of warming to the idea. 

Last week I went in for my genetic testing where I had to give about a gallon of blood. (I exagerate but not by much!) The nurse asked if I was excited about Baby #2 and I gave her an honest answer as I often find myself incapable of meaningless smalltalk. 

"Yes but I'm nervous because I don't know how I'll find room in my heart for another one," I said. 

She was silent so I kept talking. 

"I'm sure all moms feel that way, right?" I said. 

"Actually no," she said. "You're the first person to ever say that to me. Most moms are nervous that they won't be able to handle the workload. No one's ever said that they may not have room in their heart. That's interesting." 

Interesting? This woman sees new mothers every day and I am the first one to express this sentiment? How can that be?

Of course I am referring to the love I have for Baby Mo who is 15 months old now. Every day I fall more in love with my son as his personality grows and he shows himself to be intelligent and kind and fun loving. My heart is chalk full of love for him, for my husband Clayton, for our family. I feel like I am at capacity! Yet I am told that when I see my new baby, I'll find that I have so much more love to give. 

My mom said she felt the same way when she was pregnant with my sister but then "you get over that fast." 

I did not learn to truly love Baby Mo until I had actually seen him with my own eyes. There is no preparing yourself for how much you will fall in love with your child, which is why I know that when #2 makes his/her debut, I'll love him/her in a brand new way because s/he is a brand new person. 

It is also worth reminding myself that I did want another baby. We had planned to start trying towards the end of the year but it turns out we're a fertile family. Which is fine by me! I don't want to go through another humid summer in my last month of pregnancy. Woof!

We are in a good place for another baby. We have moved out of Manhattan so we have the space in our home. And I'm sure we have space in our hearts too. We just don't know it yet. 

Parents of more than one child, what was your experience? How did your heart expand to fit your growing family? And do you even remember feeling the way I do or does that all Poof! go away when you meet your new bundle of joy? 


MommyBeta Podcast: Episode 7


Click the icon to download! 

On our latest podcast, we had a special guest sitting in for Nathalee Ghafouri. Adam Cohen from Dada Rocks joined the show to discuss daddy blogging and being a FILF. Figure out that acronym yourself! ;)

We also talk about taking care of sick babies and sick mommies, baby carriers that are like Ferraris, and trying for Baby #2.