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Entries in baby shower (2)

Friday
Apr272012

Sprinkle Sprinkle Little Star

 

Early in this pregnancy, I mused about having a shower for second babies. Wow, there are a lot of opinions about this! One friend was candid enough to say, "You're not supposed to because it means you're greedy."

Well perceptions be damned! I went ahead and had a shower for this baby but we didn't call it a Shower. We called it a Sprinkle... as in the mommy is given a "sprinkling" of gifts that the baby might need.

In my family, we always threw showers for every baby, first or fourth. So naturally I wanted one too but I was also nervous what people might think of me. In hindsight, I could care less. My new baby deserves the same "ooohing" and "aaaahing" that my oldest had. So we Sprinkled!

Some suggested that I not register. Well, that seemed a bit silly and semantical to me too. Why split hairs? If we are doing a gift-giving event, can't I choose a few things that I want for this baby the same way I did for the first? Nathalee has gone the more PC route and created an Amazon Wishlist, which is the same concept. Her new baby needs things. Shouldn't she be able to choose the right ones?

When we sent out invitations, I wondered if our guests would understand the name of the event. They figured it out. Most people brought small items like burp cloths and toys, which are much appreciated, and told me that they understood the concept. 

We had games and prizes and food, much like my first shower. We also had activities for the kids because there were a lot more toddlers present this time around - including all the BabyBetas!

I printed some blank onesies and bought crayons and stickers for the kids to decorate and that was a hit. An even bigger hit were Annie's Cheddar Bunnies. The BabyBetas couldn't get enough of these! My mom called them the star of the party!

My sister and I had found these really cute favors on Pinterest that inspired us to make bags of popcorn that said, "Ready to pop." My sister made homemade kettle corn and we handed them out to guests as they left. 

My stepmother made a punch with rubber ducks floating in it - another Pinterest find! And we ordered Mexican food and a red velvet cake at my request - one of the main reasons I wanted a party in the first place!! After all, what is the fun of being pregnant, if you can't have some cake to celebrate??

So second (or third, fourth, fifth) time mommies, reject the convention that says you can't have a party for subsequent pregnancies. Of course you can! Anyone who finds that offensive is not your friend! You have a new person coming into this world and that new person deserves celebration in the same spirit that your first child was celebrated. So I hereby say: "Let them have cake!"

Thursday
Nov172011

Baby #2: No Cake For You? 

 

In this week's MommyBeta Podcast, we discuss whether or not it is vulgar to have a baby shower for your second (or third or fourth...) babies. This is something that I may be a little too opinionated about so allow me to pontificate and feel free to pontificate back in the comments. 

I had never heard that it was uncouth to have a shower for a second baby until I became pregnant with Baby #2. My dad's wife was the one who brought it up, informing me that it was considered rude. Rude??  

I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and they both agreed that this is tradition. They thought that a second shower would reflect poorly on them as if they were trying to get more stuff out of people. My mother-in-law said she would feel uncomfortable throwing my sister-in-law another shower. 

WHAT!? 

What kind of people would judge my sweet mother-in-law for wanting to throw her only daughter a shower if/when she is pregnant again? They don't have to attend! But would they judge for wanting to celebrate a new child? Are those the kind of people we call friends? 

The first baby shower was certainly not to "get stuff out of people." It was to celebrate our newest addition, wasn't it? The stuff is a bonus. 

Why would anyone begrudge someone the right to celebrate a new baby? Babies are brand new people! They need a few things in this world. Given, second-time-moms don't need swings, swaddles, bottles, etc. But they need a few new things. Must Baby #2 be forever relegated to hand-me-downs from the get-go? And no cake? No games? No festivities AT ALL for Baby #2?? 

One point I especially appreciated in The Girlfriends' Guide To Pregnancy was that every baby should be celebrated equally. Why should Baby #2 receive zero fanfare just because Baby #1 fertilized the egg first? 

In my family, we have showers for every baby that joins our ranks - from 1 to 5. We never expect huge extravagant presents. We just expect that everyone will want to ooh and aah over baby stuff and celebrate motherhood together. What is so vulgar about that?  

I was speaking to a friend of Colombian decent recently about this topic. She seemed to think this was a cultural issue. 

"Hispanics have showers for every baby," she said. "I think not having them is an American thing." 

But Americans register for wedding gifts even when they have been cohabiting and don't need "stuff" like flatware and toasters. And they throw extravagant weddings for Marriage #2. So why does the second child get so short changed? 

My Colombian friend said that she had recently attended a "Sprinkle" for a friend who was pregnant with Baby #2. It is a play on the word "shower." You don't need to be "showered" in gifts but you can ask for a sprinkling of them. Kind of a cute semantical solution if you're worried about being offensive - which in the end, I am not. My mom wants to throw me another shower and I may do a small registry as well. Is that so rude?

I am not one for tradition so it would stand to reason that I break with convention with this no-second-baby-shower rule. But I would like to say on behalf of second-time mommies everywhere that I think the no-second-shower rule is total crap and should be thrown in the diaper genie. We should be able to celebrate the brand new person growing inside of us! And if you find that offensive, you can tell him/her that they don't deserve a party because they are the youngest and it is considered vulgar. Go ahead. Say it to this little face!