Roughhousing – the Holy Grail?

The post below is by my husband Shaun, my very favorite Father's Month contributor.

In honor of Father’s Day, Nathalee asked if I would write something for MommyBeta from a daddy’s perspective. I had no clue what to write about. Then I was telling Nathalee about this article about roughhousing that I had just read on Yahoo! (sadly, my main source of news).Daddy pins Nic to the floor in a wrestling match. Who knew this was good for his character!?

She immediately said, “That’s what you should write about!”  She was right, it seemed like a perfect topic for me as “roughhousing” is one of the things I enjoy most with Nic. Now let me begin by saying that I was mostly making fun of the article. Roughhousing workshops? Really? If you need to attend a workshop to either know how to roughhouse or figure out what roughhousing is, then you probably shouldn’t be roughhousing in the first place.

Nic is usually super energized right when he wakes up at 6am or so. As he has started to become more mobile, stronger, more of a little boy than a baby, our “playtime” has become more like roughhousing. I’ll usually pull the large pillows off the couch and put them on the floor and cover them in blankets. He’ll immediately run and jump on them, then I’ll join and we’ll wrestle. His belly laugh makes me forget that I’m tired and it’s 6am.

Before Nic was born, these were the kind of moments I imagined having with my son, although not because of the many benefits that this article points out:

“Roughhousing does more than keep kids physically active. "There are clear signs showing that it helps kids' academic success, it's associated with being more flexible behaviorally, being better able to deal with unpredictability," DeBenedet says. "Play—especially active physical play, like roughhousing—makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, lovable and likable, ethical, physically fit, and joyful.”

I may be 30 years old now, but I still feel (and act) like a kid much of the time. I think that’s why having a little dude is so much fun—I get to act like a kid under the guise of a parent. But hey, turns out I’m making Nic smarter, emotionally intelligent, lovable, likeable, ethical, physically fit and joyful. Yeah, I’m pretty much the best dad ever.

Daddy Discrimination

My heart goes out to this father who was recently rejected from joining San Francisco Golden Gate Mothers Group in San Francisco simply because “to be a member, you must be a woman.” This article published in the New York Times quotes this father that states in an email to GGMG, “my child is being prevented from benefiting from the wealth of information and knowledge available to your parent network ... why does Golden Gate Mothers choose to be sexist in its operations?”

I’m part of GGMG and enjoy the benefits of open communication with fellow mommies…for purposes of this blog, let me rephrase and say, “fellow parents.” Through the GGMG play date formation event I’ve met other moms and have formed some really great friendships, which has made mommyhood a ton of fun -- simply relating to others who are going through similar situations. Play dates are just as much for moms as they are for babies and many times even more. Also, the information exchanged and shared is invaluable – pediatrician & nanny recommendations, talk of preschools, events, trouble shooting just about any problem, feeding, etc. 

I understand that some mommies would prefer only to discuss certain things amongst other mommies but there is an option to post and participate in discussion anonymously. I personally think that having a daddy’s perspective added to the conversations might be useful in some cases. And I think Daddy's need support too, not just mommies.

What do you think about this situation? Would you mind if Daddy’s were allowed to join as party of a large city-wide network of moms/parents?