Secret Admirer

Ava said her first word yesterday while we were on vacation in Hawaii. She locked eyes on Clayton and said, "Dadada."

Okay yes, I'm jealous that it wasn't Mama but if I'm honest about it, I am also a little surprised.

Dadada hasn't had her attached to his body 24/7 for the last 6 months. He didn't have to sleep with her on his chest for the first 2 months of her life. He doesn't nurse her. I'm not very good at pumping bottles so he doesn't even get up at night with her. Dadada? Where's the Mamama, Ava!?!?

It isn't that Clayton doesn't adore his baby girl but he wasn't quite as involved with her infancy as he was with our first child. I will admit that at first I thought that he might not really have wanted a girl or maybe was just playing favorites to Miles. After a few good talks, I realized that he felt much more capable with our 2 year-old son than he did with our tiny infant daughter. He was making an effort to contribute to the family by taking more responsibility with Miles so that Ava's needs could be tended to by me and "the boob," as he so eloquently puts it.

This was hard for me to understand at first and I asked other moms of two (and three) if they had experienced this. They all said that they had. But now Ava is 6 months old and starting to reach for her Daddy and charm the pants off of him with her megawatt smile. She can laugh and sit and grab and now she says his name! Dadada! She's said it three times already.

Mamama better be close behind!

Jealousy aside, I made it a point to tell Clayton that even though she has been physically attached to me for the first few months of her life, she has been mentally attaching to him from afar all of this time. Dadada! She said his name, not mine. She's been his secret admirer while he barely even knew it.

I share this to encourage second time daddies. It will inevitably feel tough to add value when baby #2 comes along because they need Mommy so much. Daddies may gravitate to the child they are familiar with but here is a friendly reminder that #2 needs Daddy too, even if it is less obvious. While the daddies are chasing around first (or second child), the little babies are watching them. Loving them.

So Ava's first word, well...It may not be fair but it is very sweet.

Potty Training Diary: Day 2

Clayton: How does it feel to spend all day staring at a naked butt? 

Me: Reminds me of my youth. 

That was our potty training humor on Day 2 of Potty Training Bootcamp. We needed it. It was an exhausting day. 

Today's schedule was similar to Day 1 but called for "bare bottom" training. I wasn't sure if I was going to allow this but figured it wasn't much different from letting him go in his "big boy chonies," (or underwear for those of you who don't speak Spanish). I figured I could resort to the chonies if he protested. He didn't. He didn't seem to mind being nude from the waist down. He played with the same abandon between toilet intervals. How wonderful it must be to be so free about your anatomy! 

The morning was not a big success. Three accidents on the floor and no peepee in the potty. I put him down for a nap feeling a little discouraged. He woke up having pooped in his diaper again so another miss to get that in the potty. 

But the afternoon was much better! Three pees in the potty to two accidents on the floor! A bigger success and we rewarded him with ice cream and an Elmo-shaped cookie from a local bakery that he did not really like. 

So far he has not "self initiated," which means he hasn't actually brought me to the potty to go but when I tell him to go, he goes willingly and climbs up and sits patiently waiting for the peepee to come. Since he is under 22 months, the book says his "self initiation" may take 2-4 days instead of just one for children older than 22 months.  

I have to work tomorrow morning so I will have to send him to daycare with diapers. His daycare providers say that they will follow his potty training schedule so I am going to ask them to put him on the potty as often as they can but I'm not going to ask them to leave him bare bottomed in the classroom of course! We'll just consider this a bit of a morning off of bootcamp and we'll pick up where we left off post-nap when I get back from my shoot in Connecticut. I have all Friday and the weekend after that to continue. 

Meanwhile, I just have to say that I'm so proud of my son for his eagerness to learn and resillience with the process. He hasn't cried or fussed at all. He knows that we are working towards something and is enjoying the extra time with Mommy. When we put him down tonight, utterly exhausted, we made it a point to tell him that we were proud of him for trying hard to learn something new. May my sweet boy face all challenges in life with the same positive attitude! I can surely take a lesson from his outlook on a new challenge! 

Potty Training Diary: Morning 1

Extra liquids to bring on the peepee!

Mo and I started our potty training boot camp today. We using the schedule set out in this book: The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers. I outlined some of my thoughts about this book here. 

The first morning has gone pretty much as I expected. No huge break throughs but there was some peepee in the potty. 

The first morning requires that you put the toddler in underpants and make a big deal out of it. Check! He got pretty excited about his Mickey Mouse and Thomas the Train undies. He wanted to put two pairs on at the same time. Next, you put them on the potty every 10 minutes for 5 minutes at a time. 

I was worried that I would have to force him to stay there but he seems okay with the idea as long as I sit there with him singing songs and playing games. The last few times before nap time I had to resort to "Pad Pad puzzles," which is what he calls iPad puzzles but he was otherwise okay with the frequent trips to the potty. 

He understands that peepee goes in the potty but he hasn't really done a full one yet. When he started to have an accident once in his room, I rushed him to the toilet and he finished there. That was a small victory. He got a small toy car as a reward. But otherwise he hasn't asked to go to the peepee yet. 

He does seem a little perplexed by the "accidents." He looks at me like, "What's happening?" The literature says that they have to understand the consequences so I'm okay with it and it doesn't seem to upset him. You are also supposed to have them help you clean it up, which he isn't so great at but we go through the motions. 

It's just the first morning. He's asleep in a Charlie Banana diaper now and we'll try again this afternoon. The whole process doesn't seem to bother him at all. He just thinks that he's getting extra facetime with Mommy. In between bathroom visits, we are reading books, playing puzzles, having snacks. It makes for a long few days for me. I don't expect miracles but I'll be patient. And enjoy the day as a chance to have extra play with my boy, interspersed with potty drills. 

Win it! Dropcam (trust me, you want one!)

UPDATE: Congratulations to Kelly for winning the Dropcam. Thanks to all who entered. Be sure to enter this week's contest for a Fitbit.  

This week we’re giving away our second Dropcam! The first giveaway was such a hit that Dropcam was kindenough to do another giveaway for our readers. For those not familiar with Dropcam, the concept is brilliant – You hook it up to you home broadband connection, which allows you to login to your camera from anywhere at any time. There is also a mobile app for iPhone and Android  so that you can monitor on the go.

Natali did a great and thorough job reviewing the Dropcam so I won’t go into detail here but I will just say that I love, love, love the mobile app for my iphone! I can check in on Tazzy when I’m out and about and she’s home alone – HA! Totally just kidding...when she’s with Josh or a sitter. The camera doesn’t pan so I can only see into her crib. It’s not like I’m spying on the nanny although I do let the sitter know I can see in the crib.

The camera can also be used to monitor your home, dog, spouse (although hopefully not the latter) and what ever else you’d like to monitor.

The product retails for $199 but you will get it for free if you are our winner. Here is how:

 To enter:

• Like us on Facebook (you don't have to post a separate comment telling us you did this.)
  
• Post a comment in the comments section of this post (not on Facebook) about how you’d use the Dropcam. No babies required to win!
• NOTE: you must leave your email when you comment. It will be kept private and not shared with anyone. We need it to alert the winner. Entries without emails will be disqualified.
• Like Dropcam on Facebook. Not required for entry but it’s a nice gesture if you really do like them J

Deadline to enter is 11:59 p.m. EDT, Thursday, July 7. Rules and regulations found here.

Humble Mother

I was chatting with Natali about how Motherhood is sometimes challenging (really a balancing act) when trying to juggle so many other aspects of life. I've had a lot going on lately and I've been working hard to try to not let anything fall through the cracks. Things that would have never happened in my "former life."

I was actually saddened when I thought I had forgotten to write up this week's giveaway. As I explained to Nat, I take so much pride in not missing a beat. At least trying to anyway. It frustrates me that I can't remember certain things (so I write everything down). It annoys me that it takes me longer to get things done -- my "to do" list often takes a full week to complete and sometimes two. And I hate being late. Alas... I am adjusting to this new life and I am a much better person for it! At least I know one thing. No matter what falls though the cracks, nothing is more important to me than being on top of my A-game as a Mother.

During our convo (over email mind you) Natali said, "Being a mommy has made me humble myself A LOT when things fall through the cracks that I know that I NEVER would have let happen in my "former life." It happens! But it is kind of good to be humbled in that way. I see how less perfect people live. HA!"

And this made me smile...